heaven of love

2006-02-28T20:27:00.000+08:00

你, 我始终无法忘怀. 对不起.

2006-02-28T20:14:00.000+08:00

守候, 等待, 因为有希望. 有希望, 因为有梦想. 有梦想, 因为有你.
因为有你,生活更精彩. 因为有你,生活更有意义.
因为有你, 我懂得爱.

2006-02-28T20:04:00.000+08:00

你的承诺, 只是一种自我防卫, 但对我的心灵却是无法磨灭的伤害.

2006-02-28T20:01:00.000+08:00

黑夜里,你是那颗闪烁的明星.

2006-02-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

轻描淡写的一声抱歉, 我心为何却如此悸动?

2006-02-28T19:54:00.000+08:00

爱你, 不需要拥有你, 只需要你幸福的保证.

2006-01-17T19:28:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK!!
ok i'm writing this post as requested by some people 'cause i really am too lazy to write (nevermind that someone said this is not exactly a very good reason. well, its an excuse!).
life has been, quite happening i guess. orientation is fun fun FUN!!! gosh i'm beginning to lOooOove acjc. really. the people there is so nice, so fun-loving, so amiable, so easy to get along with. and i can truly feel the ac spirit. something that you have to experience is yourself to understand. its unfair for me to describe it here in my blog in words, because its beyond description. velda may be right, maybe i wouldn't bear to leave ac in time to come. but right now, i'll still choose hwachong over ac. hopefully, results will be out soon (which rumoured to be out even earlier then the 6th feb that was announced.), and i will register for hwachong before i change my mind. but of course that is given i can make it there in the first place lahx!
shall do away with all elaborations on orientation.
crashed nj on thurs and fri. planning to crash hc this week because after this week, attendance will be taken everyday in ac.
went to music essentials yesterday 'cause MY FREAKING HYPER BROTHER BROKE MY VIOLIN SHOULDER REST FOR THE 2ND TIME!!!!!!
argh!!! pissed!
played for 4 hours yesterday, forgot to eat dinner. =/
today, lotsa things happened, but i don't care to elaborate.
i'm in no mood to write, really. i'm really sorry if you found this entry disappointing.
i promise i'll update soon.
i've really been thinking over alot of things lately. thought about what has happened, what is happening. thought about the purpose of my existence, thought about what i can do. thought about what life will be like for me, thought about.. you.

random: this valentine's i'm staying at home alone. for the first time ever. unless its you.
economics rox!!!
my new idol -- chopin-to-be weichao! (hehe!)
my piano needs tuning.

thnx for the treat. narnia rox!

its funny how people let chances slip by,
funny how people moan at their losses,
funny how people only know how to cherish after they've lost what they had always wanted.
its funny how you can care for someone so much,
funny how you don't mind given a cold shoulder by him,
funny how i don't understand what i'm writing right now.
but that's exactly what i have been doing,
regrets?no regrets.

2005-12-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

hellos there everyone! i'm here again.... FINALLY!!!! ahhhh.
haix things seem to go against me all the while nowadays, gosh stupid me lost my handphone charger!!!! and i lost my singapore SIM card too!!! argh.. so sorry to the following people 'cause i know ya'll will message me but i reali cant reply!!!

mummy
hui
you (you know who you are =P)
some others lahx.. not sure who else hee hee..

argh!!! can't believe what bad luck i have, you name it, i have it. really.
first and foremost and of course, i lost my hp charger + sim card which is terribly bad news! just checked my results online, got into ac science, not bad hahax at least i got into it even when i put it as 2nd choice (posting of schools is based on merit isn't it? phew!!!!)

perhaps the only good thing is that YOU messaged me. you caught me by surprised, but i'm happy nevertheless. thank you =)

okays now enough of my grumbling 'bout the bad things recently, let me now talk about what i've seen lately.

just got back from hong kong yesterday.. reached home at about almost midnight!!! hoots.. 30 hrs of train ride is tortorous and extremely uninteresting! serious. the train has been delayed by almost 5 hours due to construction works on the railway you see.. it's supposed to take about 25 hours from hongkong to shanghai, but it took 30! hahax.. but the train is DARN nice.
took the deluxe suite. had one whole room to myself and grandfather, cool right? quite nice lahx and the bed was comfortable too.. not too cramped and the facilities are satisfying..the service wad fantastic!! the crew was very polite, very courteous. ah wells i paid almost a thousand bucks each for their service what.. hahax, 1st class. hmmms.
o yes and when we were on the train, i'm not sure where is it but i guess its somewhere in zhejiang(i estimated it from the amount of time that we spent on the train.), i saw the most beautiful sight i've seen in decades!!! (not that i've lived through many decades lahx =P) it was crystal clear white everywhere, the leaves of the trees, the rooftops of the housese, the surface of the roads, everywhere! and the water was transparent! i mean.. like a mirror!! 'cause water has turned into ice! hee, its reali nice.
came back to shanghai, saw ice again everywhere. gosh i miss hongkong! i mean its b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l! and the temperature there is just right, not too hot like singapore and not too cold like shanghai. its bout 14-18? hmnmms the exact temperature of an air-con room!
back in shanghai (before i left for hongkong), i was walking alone near the bund (the most beautiful part of shanghai) that day. felt quite lost 'cause it has changed so much i didn't seem to recognise anything except of course the bund. couldn't find the bus i wanted back home (my own home on the busiest street) and i felt really out of place as i saw others all rushing while i slowly and aimlessly paced the busy streets. it was just then that i heard a very familiar type of sound, the kind of sound and pitch i've been so used to for the past decade. my eyes lit up. yes yes yes! its the sound of another singaporean speaking in the distinctive and familiar singaporean slang. gosh it was so welcoming, it felt so close to me. i knew it, i knew that that guy came from the exact same 650km.sq of land as me, someone that i could have walked past on the crowded streets back in singapore, someone who carried the same identitiy as me, someone who differentiates out of the hustle and bustle of the streets just as i do. i felt a gush of warmth rushing through me in that menacingly cold weather. i knew that out there, right out there, somewhere in the vicinity, there's someone who comes from the same piece of land as i do, who speaks the same language as i do, and was also lost as i was! i didn't feel alone anymore.
to our dear prime minister: singlish really isn't that bad an idea afterall. singlish is not another language, it is not a wrong form of language either. it is just an accent that we singaporeans have that distinguishes us from others (the americans and the english mainly). we should not exactly be ashamed of it because morally and theoretically, there's nothing wrong. it is just an accent that we have just like how the french and german have their accents when they speak english. there is nothing wrong and i personally think the formation of singlish is totally reasonable and acceptable because it is due to the influence of the other languages brought in by the 4 major races of singapore. it is a good and fair reflection of the multi-cultural, multi-racial and cosmopolitan singapore. it is a unique accent that has developed over the years which identifies us singaporeans. it is mocking how ironical singapore leaders are. promoting nation pride on one side and yet promoting speaking standard english on the other. what is standard english orally? american english? english english? chinese english? french english? o even, grammatically, the english as in the KJV bible? isn't american english due to american accent and english english due to english accent? isn't chinese english due to chinese accent and italian english due to italian accent? english, an international language, after being used by so many people in so many countries for so many years, now have changed as it's standards have been altered and edited so many times. we cannot and have not a set of standards as to what is standard verbal english, and hence, i beg singapore government not to forcefully enforce "standard" english. the crucial point is that the english that we speak must be understood by others (which in the case of now is indeed understood by caucasians) because being a language, its basic function is to serve as a form of communication. singlish identifies us as singaporeans. we should not be ashamed of it. its also a form of nation pride, isn't it?
back in hongkong, i had the same encounter. i heard the same familiar accent among the so many chinese and its really welcoming i dare say. really.
alright peepz thats all i guess.. sorry sorry i'm reali too frozen o think and write, shall relate to all of you when i'm back k?

有心栽花花不开,无心插柳柳成荫?

i've got so many things to say to you. but i dare not speak up.
i miss you i miss you i miss you I MISS YOU!!!
sorry i know i'm not surpposed to, but i just do. i'm tired of forcing myslef not to think of you.
sorry i'm sorry.
i've always thought tt coming to china will b a gateaway, a way to forget you.
but i'm wrong, i only miss you more.
absence makes the heart fonder?
i've nv believed, but now i do.
forget it if you don't.
i'm sorry if you found this disgusting,
i'll know what to do.

2005-12-08T08:16:00.000+08:00

hellos everyone
yep i'm FINALLY online. tt's bcos my grandparents FINALLY relented and allowed mi to come online in a web cafe. they've been giving excuses of it being dangerous. o come on i'm a 17-year-old! not a 7-year-old! aha
okays i predict this gonna b a lOoooOng post.
random thoughts: i'm heading for hongkong today!!!
thesis statement: CHINA IS DARN COLD!
o trust me its very very very very cold here. its below freezing pt! gosh and to think i came from singapore, an equatorial climate country with daily temperature of 32degC. AND ITS -2DEGC here!!!
couldn reali recall explicitly wad exactly happened for the past week but i can update ya'all on wad happened THIS week. as for last week, it will be a brief recount, here you go!

LAST WEEK
went out. walked around abit to see how shanghai has developed this few years while i was away in the small island called singapore.
i would say shanghai is indeed very nice now, so much nicer than singapore in the more developed part. you think high scrapers arh a trademark of singapore? gosh u're wrong! utterly totally wrong i assure you. shanghai has got building towering over you everywhere! i've seen hotel on the 87th floor.. i've seen the world's 3rd tallest building and architecture. i've seen the most beautiful night scenery with the most majestic clock tower. all here in shanghai, the bund.
you tink ez-link is so fascinating huh? shanghai here has got ez-link 2 years earlier than singapore has.their ez-link is not onli restricted to buses and mrt onli, they can also be used in taxis!
you tink tv-mobile is so great huh? but lemme tell ya shanghai's tv mobile is much clearer and more steady than singapore's! reali! it did not jump o stop once as i travel on the bus for one whole hour!
your think greenery is so significant of singapore huh? now if you travel to shanghai once you'll realise tt the amount of greenery here, by proportion of land mass, is so much more as compared to singapore. and i like the leaveas here. maple leaves. very nice! shall smuggle one home. aha
NEVERTHELESS! the people here are indeed very disappointing. i c people spitting everywhere, as if its no big deal. their lids did not bat a single time as they spit, they did not blush the least bit as they pee-ed at a public place (pls note its NOT public toilet its public place!), they did not feel a single tinge of shame as they littered indiscriminantly on the roads. they cursed at the slightest disturbance, even as people indeliberately came into contact with them on the crowded and busy streets. they impatiently blast their horns as the cars ahead move abit slower because they themselves move increduously at a speed of 130km/h. they cut the queues without feeling any guilt and cars zoom past each other, cutting across each other dangerously without bothering about the consequences. they did not stop at pedestrain crossings or even at traffic junctions for pedestrains to cross because they selfishly thought the road rightfully belong to them and that each and everyone of them own the road.
with the rapid urbanisation, industrialistion and development of this big city shanghai, wad has happened to the people? i'm not sure whether these uncultured, uncivilised babaric behaviour is due to the influence brought in by the continuous and rapid influx of people from the rural areas who are not brought up in a well-mannered family, o is it rather due to the shanghai people themselves? its diappointing. reali. i hope that the next time i come (probably a few years down the road, like aft i finish my a's o sth like tt.), i'll c a better and more pleasing scene.

MONDAY
the wind was COLD. a sudden cold current from the poles that announced the formal arrival of winter.
i could feel it as i first stepped out of the house.
the wind.
lashing at me, my frail body and my uncovered face,
tearing me apart as i shiver due to the inadequate amount of clothing.
the pathetic amount of thin cloth clung desperately unto me, trying their very best to fulfil their duty to protect me from this merciless cold.
it did its best, but i felt cold, still.
i felt the wind under my feet, i felt it dashing across and between the holes of my netted adidas climacool shoes, i felt myself sliding between the soles of my feet and the shoe. and then, i felt nothing. my feet had frozen, hard. the wind had numbed every of my nerves, it tore apart every of my still-active muscles, splitting apart the the skin on my brother's face and injuring my grandma's hands with open wounds. it stalled me as my legs refused to listen anymore to the command given by my half-frozen brain. my hands no longer feel. my nose no longer smell. my ears no longer hear. but my mouth speaks. it speaks of the harshness and ruthless-ness of the wind, abusing us like a convict under the cane of law. as i stood in the wind, fighting it with my already weakened fortitude, my fragile figure threatened to give way, to crumble. but my determination told me not to give up, it told me that i'll get through it eventually. i had to go out. i had to. i had to bring my grandma and brother to the pharmacy. i had to prepare meals for my grandparents. i had to buy the neccesities from the supermarket. i had to. i simply had so many things to do, so many missions awaiting me to accomplish. i braved the wind as it splattered onto my face, i can hear it voicing its warning, i can feel it endangering my very survival. and i will not barge. it was -5degC. i heard the wind mocking my very existence. i heard it jerking my determination to fight it. i felt alone as i walked the wind myself. yet i know, i was alone but not lonely. God thank you for bringing me through. Lord thank you for giving me this courage. i made it, i made it!

TUESDAY
i saw the road, spread with thin sheets of ice. its more slippery than ever. i saw the vapour out of the exhaust pipe of the vehicles, yes vapour, they're vapour. they're not smoke. i observed the vapour rising from the exhaust pipes (according to chemistry, smoke a.k.a. gases realeased due to incomplete combustion, has molecular mass heavier than air thus it sinks, while water vapour of Mr 18 is definitely lower than air with Mr of about 28, hence it rises. =D). it was an interesting phenomenon, so different from the usual sinking smoke that we observe around us.
now i'm hoping for it to snow. o please do not laugh at me, at the contrary. you wouldn't understand, the snow will make my harsh experience more worthwile. really.
i put on more clothes today, i FOUND more clothes in the cupboard in my own house way way in town 'cause i went to look for them the other day. o how i wish i'm in my own house. at least i wouln't feel so cold (rural areas tend to be more cold than better developed areas heh.)
o yes and i bathed today. (in cold seasons people don't bathe everyday because 1) its too cold; 2) you literally don't sweat at all!)before i bathed, my grandma and my brother did. and you know what? they shouted from the bathroom.. FANGZHOU WHAT KIND OF BODY WASH DID YOU BRING? WE CAN'T SQUEESE IT OUT!
so i checked it out for them.
it was full i tell you! it's full! full to the brim! 'cause i brought a new one! but it was hard.. frozen! haha! i had to sink it into a bath of hot water to defrost it! so they had no choice but to use soap to bathe. after half an hour, i took out the body wash and went in to bathe myself. it was jelly-like (of course its not meant to be) because its still half frozen! and when i came out from the bathroom i found a thin layer of ice on the water!! so cool right?

TODAY
now now, i woke up at 7.30, brushed up, grabed some buns on the way (o yes one thing i'll have to boast about, SHANGHAI FOOD IS SOOOOOOO NICE! SO MANY TIMES NICER THAN SINGAPORE FOOD REALI) and headed right here, the web cafe, to blog. i wanted to check out if i can link to the websit for the PAE thingy 'cause if not i wouldn't be able to check for my posting results next friday!!!!
thnk God i can. but i can't get to the singapore blogs lahx! so for all those who're waiting for me to leave comments or tag. thousand apologies!!! fortunately, i can still get to the create a new post page, which i do not understand why. aha i doesnt matter i guess.
o and the posting thingy, haix i know i cant get into hwachong. at least i dont think i can anymore, 'cause MOE didn't inform me on anything about the LEP thingy, which is bad news. if i get into LEP i'll definitely get into hc 'cause hc is the only LEP school that i put. if i didn't get into LEP, i'll definitely NOT get into hc 'cause my score do not permit me to do so.
alright shant blog for too long, 'cause i'm leaving for hongkong this afternoon!!! taking train. hahax haven't taken a train for long.
anyone who wans anything from hongkong jux drop me an sms! i'll be switching on my hp all the while when i'm in singapore. (p.s. for those who're afraid of bursting your bill this month..... YOU SEND ME MSG YOU PAY LOCAL SMS FEE LAHX! DON'T BE SILLY!) hahax yeps. i'll b going hmmm to disneyland???!!! mum said so. but she's not going lahx. i'm going with my grandpa, and he'll leave all the travelling and playing in hongkong to me and myself 'cause he said he wanna slp!!!!!!????!!!! alright he claimed he went with me onli in fear that sth will happen to me on the train.. (wth??!!!) I'M GROWN UP!!

peepz i'm extremely apologetic if you find too many funny, nonsensical and ridiculous grammatical o spelling errors in this entry 'cause frankly, my brain is in too frozen a state to think and my fingers are in too hardened a state to type!

i jux kept thinking of you. i'm sorry.
i know i shouldn't. i'm sorry.
i think of you when i'm happy,when i'm down. i'm sorry.
i think of you when i need someone, when i'm cold . i'm sorry.
i know i shouldn't. i'm sorry.
i'm trying my best and i know one day i will forget you but meanwhile i still cant. i'm sorry.
but all i wan is to remain as friends with you that i can assure you. do not be afraid.
i say i again, i want nothing of you, just friendship.
as to how i'll get through it myself, leave it to me.
and i wana say it once again.. i'm sorry.

2005-12-01T19:20:00.000+08:00

ahhhh!! the entry i wrote previously got deleted!! anyways i'm now at my great uncle's hse blogging.. gotta rush thru diz entry cos i'm going hm soon!!!
okays its C-O-L-D here. i mean relatively colder den s'pore (obviously!)
enuff of crap. getting down to business now, lemme update all of u on things tt happened in china, shanghai.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
at the shanghai customs:

me(in STANDARD shanghainese):*pointing to my brother and handing the officer our "entry to china" form* the kid is here, and i tink i've filled in the plane no. wrongly, sry wld u pls chnge for mi?

silence................................................
after a lOoooOong long while,

officer(in shanghainese too): o u were speaking shanghainese izit? *pointing to my singaporean passport* i tot u're speaking some singaporean language, tot it sounds DAMN familiar.

me(in shanghainese again): o i'm born in shanghai and migrated to singapore when i was young.

silence...................................................

officer(in shanghainese): o u're speaking shanghainese again i c. can u pls speak chinese? b'cos i somehow cant link u and ur passport to shanghainese.

me(in chinese FINALLY): o yes sure no prob.

officer (in chinese): now now here u're done, hv a nice day.

me (in shanghainese sub-consciously and conveniently): o okays thnx u too.

officer stunned.......................................
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
btw, forgot to mention, jiazhen (the rv xcountry gal u knoe?) took the same plane as mi!!! wahaha so surprised to c her. she's on her trip to shanghai to visit her uncle i guess.. hmmmmmmmss

NOW FOR COMPLAINING TIME!!!!

grandpa's hse is EXTREMELY UNCONDUSIVE FOR ANY LIVING BEING! gosh it's a great contrast to MY HOUSE along nanjing rd, the busiest road of shanghai, with my window overlooking the largest isetan in asia! man i'm gonna b stuck in tt den for lyk 27 more days??!!
GOD-MUM I'M COMING UR HSE!!!
hahas sry lahx! just for your info, i'm born wif a silver spoon (plus a gold fork=P) in my mouth and m pampered since young. and here i m stuck in this place so deserted so remote so DILAPIDATED and unhygienic. it reminds mi of slums and squatters reali, lack of proper sanitation and amenties, poor hygiene and high crime rates, high unemployment rate.. yada yada yada.
(backgrnd info: shanghai is divided into 2 main parts and many different districts. MY hse is in the more developed part and is along the most urbanised street. grandpa's hse is in the more undeveloped part.)

okays i reali gotta go if now i'll reach hm at midnite cos shanghai is sOoooOo big, 8times tt of s'pore.

reali got so many things to say, so many things to write, so many thougth-provoking events to update all of u bout. so i shall continue next tym, in probably a web cafe o wad.

thnx for picking up my call
thnx for toking to mi for so long.
thnx for sending the last msg to mi on the plane, jux as i was bout to off my phone.
thnx for drawing such a beautiful full stop.

2005-11-30T13:52:00.000+08:00

eh peepz sry i din the tym on the previous 2 posts r totally screwed up.. its 30th now n its 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOTTA GO!!!!!

2005-11-30T11:29:00.000+08:00

okays tt's a peep at wad happened yest at prom. i've got quite alot of pic lahx but tt's all i can upload cos i'm reali running short of tym. rushing to the airport soon.. shall upload more when i come back k? guys! here's a few msgs to a few of u..:

kangkang!!! i knoe u wana take alot photos wif mi, n infact u did.. hahax but sry k i can onli upload diz one for u. eh btw my grandma said u v shuai............ i no comments =P

hui!!!! u wan ur pics? i'll gif to ya when i'm back k? u n jieli n dongri n mingxuan n hmmm aiya those guys lahx tt picture v nice.. btw u saw my msn display pic? its mi n u!!!!! bet u're honoured.. DAMN honoured! o wells u'd beta b!!! miss mi =D

mummy germ!!!! did u realise i din take alot photos wif u? u owe mi pics k? i don care! =P hope u lyk ur present!!! =D

xiaoying and abbey!!! y e hell on earth did e both of u leave so early huh? (i demand a reasonable explanation!!!!! =P ) p.s. we got prize for the winner of the 'who has it?' game lehx!

phyllis!!! i hv one full-length pic of u in my cam (now uploaded onto com le), u VERY chio!!! eh rmb to get it from mi ya?

okays guys.. gotta run, the plane's not gonna wait for mi! guess i wun b able to blog much for the next month lahx since i'll be in china. so miss mi guys!!!

2005-11-30T10:28:00.000+08:00

i din come online yest did i? hmmm cos it was prom! n i was so busy running arnd e whole day i hardly had even e tym to stop n tink wad i've done! okays now now shall recall on yest n update all of u.
woke up at 10 by hui's msg. went to IMM, bought things.. lotsa things. but i din take long cos i had everything in mind already jux go arnd wif the money, grab n pay! yupex, took less den half an hr to get everything.
got home, bathed rushed down to my mum's fren's salon n did my hair. it's nice according to my frenz. no comments myself. got to je at arnd hmmm 2.15pm. sRRrrYY xunlong!!!!! was late. hee but u din wait for mi neway. hee. so took a train to woodlands n met hui n long. walked to her hse n rot-ted.
HUI STOP TORTURING URSELF WIF EYELINERS AND MASCARA! n don waste ur money on tt too. hahax. u're the first person tt i know hu'd tear puttingon mascara n eyeliner! hahax c? down the drain goes ur $10!
hahaha so funnie. hui looks lyk a witch. reali lyk a witch wif a carpet over her! look u're going to prom k not dress up party! aiyo. u seriously onli lack a broom n a wand!
went town wif hui n long. wad did we do arh? onli rmb going to paragon's bakerzin. GOSH THEIR COOKIES CREAM CHEESECAKE IS DAAAAAAAAARRNNN NICE! eh if my parents got more vouchers i'd treat u all k?
o yes o yes we went to watsons! bought plaster for our poor feet. so pAAAAIINNNNN. shall nv wear tt ever again! went to the same cubicle in the toilet to put on plaster n hmmm help her to tighten her tube (*motions r censored). we made sOooOo much noise tt i tink those pple outside hu knoe not wad we're doing probly think we're mad. 2 lesbians bitching inside a cubicle. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE WE'RE NOT! nvm.
hmmm. got stuck in shaw plaza not knowing howta get to raffles town club. called our live directory tiap n yeps found our way eventually (nvm tt we walked a loOooOng long way cos we alighted AFTER scgs, which we're supposed to alight AT scgs.)
prom was... overall, quite satisfying. the food is nice lahx not bad lahx.western food. hmmm. i lyk their fish fillet n chicken cutlets! wif a tint of tom yam wif black pepper. not too hot tho. a tiny weeny lil bit spicy, jux rite for e tastebuds to gif u a sensation.
salad was not bad either. ahaha hui arh u sure hv a big problem wif forks and knives n big leafy vege! (*u promised someone to b demure yest! apparently u fail =P). MUMMY(germ) SAID I WAS GREAT WIF ETIQUETTE! she was telling everyone i've got tt qi4 zhi4 n nobody how i eat i jux look v gao1 gui4 n elegant! *beaming wif pride* ahaha okays shant be arrogant. hahax thnx mUuuuuUummmMy!!!! u were verriiiii beautiful yesterday!!!! yes yes everyone's beautiful yest reali. n everyone put make up!! y? y? y? i HATE make up! feels o uneasy n unnatural. jux don feel lyk myself. i wana b myself, jux myself! shall not mask my flaws wif all those chemicals. humph!
got hm quite late lahx.. bout... 11+? okays lahx not tt late (ps my record is 3am? 4am? arnd there! =P)
took (teo)shihua's parents' car back. squeezed wif xiaoshi, hui n of cos shihua at the backseat.
I SPENT HALF AN HR TO "DISMANTLE" MY HAIR!!!!!
tt's such a waste of tym!
bathed.
called shengjia.gosh he waited till 3am(australia tym's 2hr 45min faster den s'pore) for mi!!!! thnk u! n sry for taking my tym lahx.. aha hope u're hving a reali great tym over there. toked for hmmm an hr? wah my IDD gone liaox. nvm using hse fone. sry mummy! u pay! =P

woke up today.MUM WLD U PLS SHUT UP COS U'VE BEEN NAGGING AT MI THE WHOLE MORN EVERSINCE I WOKE UP N U'VE HONESTLY GOTTEN TO THE LAST OF MY NERVES! don wish to screw u my last day wif u in these 2 o 3 wks lahx but u r reali reali reali very very very VERY annoying! *takes a deep breath*

hui thnx for oways being there for mi
long thnx for carrying things for mi. u're reali making mi feel guilty cos u shldn b doing tt.(hui said: ta1 gan3 bu4 na4? ni2 shi4 wo3 de hao3 peng2 you2 lehx!) =P

to you:
thnx for being so nice to mi.
altho i still don c y u cant gif it
but i respect u n ur decision.
if u tink u owe mi alot,
lemme tell u u don.
cos u've given mi the most valuable thing which i'll treasure for life: the priceless frenship.
i was onli afraid of u leaving mi, avoiding mi, ignoring mi.
i was afraid n still am afraid of losing u, even as a fren.

2005-11-29T07:57:00.000+08:00

okays now. first thing first, sry everyone whom i din reply ur msg diz morn cos i reali haven got e mood to reply. these pple r:

bee (sis)(u wan ah zhi's pic rite? send ya le. he's become sOoooOo shuai, but short nevertheless. haha! n o come'on don b jealous of my new phone, u've had ur share of fun back in taiwan. one advice: quick go buy ur prom dress lahx! ITS TML!!!)
jie (sry i'm oways not replying u haix but thnx for oways being there for mi ya? =D n hmmm happy toking to ur mr chan n doing duty wif ur sec2 senior. u arh! ur rumors more den mi lehx! pro! =P)
mum (fake)(replied.)
mum (real)(aiya u shld b used to mi not replying! hee =P i love u too mum!)
dad (thnx for e cheque dad =D i'll bank it in later. n i wan new violin!! u promised mi!!! e one i lyk!!!!!! =P)
tiap (replied)

okays replied ya'll here le k? if not i wld hv replied u all personally.. if there's anybody tt i forgot to mention, million apologies!!

MELISSA PLS REPLY! surely u're not angry wif mi n hui r u? reali sry if u r but we din neglect. SHE din. i've nv neglected u b4 =)

next thing up, jux finished reading 1john. food for tots. here r some useful bible verses i've picked out. here u go (to you esp, van.)
-love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. if any man love the world, the love of Father is not in him. for all that is in the world, the lust of flesh, the lust of eyes and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.and the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of GOd abideth forever. 1:15-17
-and this is his commandment: that we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another as he gave us commandment. 3:23
-ye are of God little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you than he is that in the world. 4:4
-beloved, let us love one another for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. 4:7
-and we have known and believed the love that God hath in us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 4:16
-God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 1:5b
-and now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him in his coming. 2:28
strive in the Lord, for he is love!=)

i need tym, but things will eventually fall into place again.
everything will b back to normal, i assure u.
u're not the onli hypocritical one,
i m one too.

2005-11-29T07:46:00.000+08:00

Fangy, your love personality type is ISTJ

About 7% of the U.S. population shares the combination of traits that make up this love type.Being an ISTJ means that you are one cool customer. Although few would describe you as being warm, cuddly, or sentimental, many people likely see you as an important source of support in their lives. That's because when things are chaotic or falling apart, you're the type of person who can be virtually unflappable. ISTJs like you are known for being talented problem solvers. When it comes to your relationships, you usually know how to speak up for yourself so that others know what you want. But that doesn't mean you're rigid or inflexible. In fact, you're quite willing to bend for the right person. They just need to make their case honestly.
Given your test results, Tickle's personality experts have determined your four most compatible matches when connecting with others. One of those four compatible types is an ENTP.

2005-11-29T02:57:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain is 73.33% female and 26.67% male.
Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

2005-11-28T10:50:00.000+08:00

夜半寂静孤独，
孤影畅饮徘徊，
熟知郁闷惆怅？
想念依恋交织，
无邪悸动涌现，
熟知单纯爱慕?
this poem is dedicated to u.
not sure if u'll understand
not sure if u can feel it
the strong emotions n intense atmosphere.
doubt u do.
it doesn matter.

i'm trying hard not to tink of u
not to like u
but i knoe its hard.

Lord bring mi thru,
lift mi in ur hands,
walk mi thru.

its not gonna b ez i knoe
but for ur sake
i'm trying
trying
trying reali hard.

Lord show mi e greater things u hv for mi,
be wif mi cos i need u,
i'll lean on u.

izit reali possible to pretend nth has happened?
even if i can, can u? will u?

don wander bout e harbour, come in.

2005-11-28T06:10:00.000+08:00

gosh!!!!!!!!!! i feel dirty. jux kept on wanting to bathe =S n i cant fall aslp at nite, jux kept pondering bout tt thing n i jux feel lyk shutting myself alone in my rm, away from everyone everything. i wana b alone. symptons of depression huh? oops.
hee thnx hui for hmmm comforting mi. eh but i returned u ur favour k? fancy u teaching mi to lie to ur mum. thnx God ur mum din qn mi, if not i'll b doing God dishonour n gosh tt's a SIN!haix u n ur long arh! don drag mi into it k? =P
nth much today. jux went church, had sermon, had sunday sch, had bible classes on timothy2, had choir(tink i can hit a semi-tone higher den i usually do! high B!), had lunch.
came hm, packed my once-messy-oways-messy (n still messy) rm. finally cleaner but am still packing. arranged all the things i wana burn (yes listen up i'm burning, BURNING all my agony away. aft all its revenge tym aft o's isn it? hee!) in a HUGE plastic bag (wherever my grandma got it from tink its bigger den e black trash bags). eh tiap. on arh?=P
tink i'll beta do sth to my still-empty luggage. countdown to taking off :3 days!!!!?!!!?!!?!--beta hurry!!!

u silly boy
y din u tell mi how u feel
y din u tok to mi bout e immense pressure u felt
e last thing i ever wana do is to hurt u
even if it is at e cost of hurting myself no matter how deeply
u knoe tt.
ya we'll b frens
GREAT frens. cos i know u r one
n u will b one

2005-11-28T04:00:00.000+08:00

2005-11-27T15:33:00.000+08:00

currently listening to: beethoven's moonlight sonata 3rd movement (awwwwwwwww!!!!!)

today.. nth much lahx jux went out wif parents, watched just like heaven (gosh its sOooooOo touching sOoooOo heart-warming!!!) met xinhang n liming at jec so we chatted n toked bout psle n looked at e sec sch reference bk (or wadever u call tt). okays.. nth to comment on tt except tt i'm surprised rv's cut off pt is so low.. nvm we're value-added =P
went church for fellowship, stayed on for special service at 7 tt clarified all my doubts bout VPP n VPI. its sad tt our eng congregation looks lyk there're going charismatic soon despite all the strong objections so obviously n deliberately shown by other b-p churches across sg. haix.
den i got hm. n here i m writing diz blog. cant care to elaborate on details. slpy.

u stupid idiot. i don wana u gif anything back to mi
i don wana u return mi my feelings for u
u jux b hu u r..... my fren
tt's enuff tt's all i ask of u
jux my fren, e gd n faithful fren u used to b
izit TT difficult?

2005-11-26T14:46:00.000+08:00

Currently listening to tchaikovsky’s piano concerto no.1 in B flat minor played by Victoria postnikova. Gosh its so nice!!
B4 i update u peepz on the events tt happened today, sry ya for all the lack of hmmm facilites! Hee I mean ya no tagboard no profiles no template o wadsoever. Too busy going out shopping nowadays lahx since exams r over. Decided to use my short-form-singaporean eng from diz entry onwards cos i’m so used to dem instead of the standard eng tt government (and schools) are promoting!! Okays, no for wad happened today, here u go:
Was late when I met hui n long at orchard. Supposed to meet at 11, but I was a whole 15 mins late sry guys!!
Shopped around, the usual stuff, had a hard tym searching for prom clothes cos I’m simply so fussy lahx gosh I din realize tt till today seriously. Tiap u’re soOooooOo lucky for joining us late lahx! Thnx to ur bad tooth!
Finally found a top tt I lyk at heeren, IS u knoe? Tt shop? 2nd floor at heeren? Hee yupex so I bought it there, 2 pieces, black bottom wif black and white halter-like top. Nice! Daaaamn elegant lahx! Not tt it suits my personality, but it definitely suits mi! =D rite hui?? =P
So jux walked arnd. And ya went for manicure. Painted and shaped my nails n its in a beautiful shade of purple now. tiap arrived rite aft I finished manicure-ing. Wah he lucky again if not he’s gotta wait for mi!! hee.. HUI ARH U PANGSEH MI I’LL RMB U FOR TT!!! Hui’s darn cute lahx n clever too. fancy someone cutting her fingernails so short u can c the flesh a day b4 going for manicure and 5 days b4 prom. Gosh she muz b out of her mind.
Anyways so we WALKED (not tt its v far lahx but hui was complaining hee) to dohby ghaut mrt station so tt hui can meet her fren (Carmen I guess) at 3. stopped half way at music essentials cos tiap wanted to look for violas while I wanted to buy G-strings (but wells I guess in the end I FORGOT to buy -.-“). He tried on some violas 605 and 405 16-inch I guess. 605 was great aft resetting lahx serious its fabulous! It instigated mi to take up viola instead. I mean I realized I lyk the pitch of viola beta. Its jux rite, not too high lyk vln n not too low lyk bass. Cello sounds okay but its too big n… not ladylike! Hahax (shihua if u’re reading sry!)
Okays so while we were at e music shop hui n long pangseh mi.. AGAIN! Gosh I'm NOT PISSED! Ya actually I wasn lahx since she’s got appointment its onli reasonable for her to leave first.
So den we met up wif dem again as PS and shopped n shopped n shopped n yada yada yada shall stop elaborating the boring, long-winded n unnecessary details of my shopping trip!
Okays so I got hm quite late cos I din take mrt.
Den went online, chose the sch. 1st choice hc arts, 2nd ac sci, 3rd ac arts, 4th jj sci, 5th pj sci. left 6th-12th choices blank cos I don c any pt in filling dem up lahx cos I doubt I’m so lousy I cant even get into any of the 5 above.
Den I realized O SHIT I HAVEN APPLIED FOR LEP TO HC YET! So I got so flustered.checked the pae booklet n realized I’ve still got tml to apply but its onli available at MOE (all thnx to 5-day wk). thnk God.
Okays, guess tt’s all for today. Tml gotta wake up at 8 so tt I can rush down to MOE to apply for my LEP at arnd 9 (tho the closing tym is 4pm =S), den I’ll hvta accompany my dad to heeren HMV the classical section to buy MORE cds. GOSH HE’S NUTS!! I mean I jux bought $165 worth of cds todays lahx n its all wad he wanted (I guess so, actually is all tt I wanted lahx but we both wanted Rachmaninoff, chopin, brahms, bach, Mozart n tchaikovsky mahx!). ah heck its his money he can spend for all he wants lahx. Aha
Guess tt’s all for today. Shall turn in to slp early. Tired. Yawns. Nitex.

thnx for making my day more meaningful, more memorable.

so wad if its one-sided? i'm enjoying the sweetness of it rite now. God pls don take away my happniness.

2005-11-25T10:25:00.000+08:00

hellos there everyone!
yupex this's gonna b my first blog entry, not reali actually since i've been keeping a private blog for long. well at least the first blog entry to b seen by everyone! shall stop my endless rambling bout e creation of my first post now. getting to serious stuffs.
jux came back from chalet.
chalet's... fun? ya considerably okays lahx as compared to previous years, i'm not to the whole chalet though. hahax. first day (19th) was 2H chalet, jux laughed n chatted n walked arnd, cycled abit n did all the usual stuffs that people do at chalets.
taught vanessa how to cycled.she more or less got the hang of it lahx i guess, but that is in consideration that i wet my whole shirt with pespiration and almost fell over as i tried to prevent her from slanting this way and that which will eventually lead to some disastrous fall that i couldn't and wouldn't wana imagine! look van, you owe it to me k? =P
cycled to the bridge near east coast mac and talked quite awhile. shared our frustrations and worries, poured our hearts over our unhappiness n consoled each other.
okays.. back again.blogged the front part hmmm 2 days ago i guess.hee now i shall continue my first post.
aha okays now.to tiap:u did well for yesterday's performance reali i mean it.don't tell over it anymore ya?there're so many others worse then u. i mean their coordination were bad bad bad.hui and me couldn't stop laughing and twisting our head in agony (and disgust--oops sry alright alright alright not tt bad lahx, considering the short notice u guys are given.keep going!)gosh and i'm completely awed by rayner tan!!!!not that he played the piano well but his composition is reali.. fantastically awesome for a 16-year-old.HE IS TALENTED!
reeling back to before the concert.we had a hard time finding the obscured YMS building.ignorant me didn't realise what YMS mean till then.just kept calling it YMS YMS YMS.now i know.its Young Musician Society.hee k nevermind my stupidity.gosh YMS is soOoooOo ulu!i checked the map, it's nearest mrt is dobhy ghaut.but someone told me to alight at bugis.then tiap told me to alight at city hall and walk pass chijmes to waterloo.while i thought i should take bus from orchard though i'm not reali sure what bus i can take.so i randomly and foolishly picked bugis.so met hui n xunlong at bugis.ate.walked a long long way.lost our directions.wandered arnd n as we were lost in the hustle and bustle of the city,lenard came to our rescue.but he said alight at dohby ghaut or orchard!!!!i was like wth couldn't you have told me earlier???we were regretfully informed that even our last hope (lenard) didn't know how to get there from bugis.never mind.so we just walked straight to bras basah road purely based on our instincts.so hui called her supposedly living-map dad but apparently her dad was wrong as he told us that if we were on bras basah rd then we were on the wrong way which was NOT the case!!'cause lenard called later and he told me yes we should see bras basah rd and we just have to walk straight and we'll eventually get to YMS which is on waterloo street.
end of story
wow that's a long paragraph. hahax that's all.
shall update you peepz with something fresh next time.
btw, got a new handphone!!!
samsung E-730
ITS DAMN CHIO!!!!!!!!!!!!
tt's the end of my first post
peepz take cares! =)

one simple undeniable fact: i like u.
i'm able to c u. tt's enuff. i don demand anything from u.